Reminding Kids It’s Not Their Fault

Reassure children, just like Abby, that a divorce is never their fault.

Together, watch Gordon and Abby’s conversation. Ask, “How was Abby feeling?” and “What did Gordon try to tell Abby?” Reassure kids that they haven’t done anything to cause the divorce. Tell them it’s okay to have these worries and feelings, but that talking about them with you can help. Keep having these conversations over time to keep communication open, explaining that problems between grown-ups are not children’s fault, and adult problems are not children’s jobs to fix. You might also:

  • Leave notes in a lunchbox or throughout the house describing things you love about them.
  • Give compliments (“You are so good at sharing your toys with your little brother.”).
  • Share reasons—big and small—that you’re proud of them.
  • Thank them for helping out, for being kind, or for just being themselves!