Mindful Choices: Using Digital Media with Awareness and Intention  

by Heather Kirkorian, PhD, Bolim Suh, Jennica Li, and Eleanor Desing 

Screen time can be an easy way to connect, laugh, and learn together. But screens can also make both children and adults feel tired, distracted, and disconnected.   

It can help to make mindful media choices. Mindful choices require awareness: noticing how we use screens and how they make us feel. You might ask yourself, “How long did I scroll through social media posts?” or “How long did my children watch TV today?” More importantly, think about how you want to spend your time. “Did I do everything I wanted to do today?” “Did screen time help, or did it interfere?”  

Awareness also means paying attention to our bodies and minds. Whether you’re using media yourself, using media together with your child, or supervising your child as they use media, you can:  

• Ask yourself, “Is this making me happy or sad?”   

• Check in with your child: Are they having fun or getting frustrated?   

• Help your child learn how to make mindful media choices using your own experience. For example, you might say, “I like this show even more when we cuddle up and watch it together!” or “Wow, we’ve been playing this game a long time. I need a screen break!”   

• Take a slow, deep breath together and describe how you feel.  

Mindful choices also require setting intentions and making plans. You can create playlists to learn about interesting topics or download family-friendly apps that encourage creativity. You can set goals about when and where your family uses screens and set timers. You can turn off notifications when you want to focus on family time–or sleep!  

You can also use media to connect with each other. Sometimes you might want to connect by playing a game or watching videos with your family. This is a great way to relax, learn, and have fun together! Other times, you might need a break to cook dinner, schedule appointments, or just have a few minutes by yourself. That’s okay, too! You can reconnect after screen time by doing another activity together, or by asking questions:  

• “Did you like that story? What was your favorite part?”  

• “Has that [thing that happened to a character] ever happened to you? How did it make you feel?”   

• “That looks like a fun game! Can you show me how to play?”   

Planning goes such a long way in making mindful choices. You know what you want for your family, and you can make it happen!  

Dr. Kirkorian is a Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison where she works with graduate student Bolim Suh, graduate student Jennica Li, and research coordinator Eleanor Desing.