It Takes a Village

By Zoraima Rolon

“It takes a village to raise a child” is more than a saying; it is a reminder that children thrive when the important adults in their lives work together toward shared goals. Meaningful family engagement strengthens the relationships among all members of a child’s “village,” creates a common purpose, and motivates intentional actions that support positive outcomes. This works best when everyone, as partners, clearly discuss, agree on, and follow through with shared expectations. Two simple, everyday strategies—shared agreements and two-way communication—help families and providers work‑ together with the child at the center.

Strategy 1: Shared Agreements

Bias and judgment are a part of being human, and they can also be noticed, managed, and quieted. One way to do this is by intentionally replacing judgment with empathy, respect and a positive outlook. Doing so invites us to embrace curiosity, look for common ground and accentuate the positives. For example, what might look like a distant, rushed goodbye between a parent and child can actually hide shared hopes and commitments. Families and providers, in that moment, probably want to be seen, appreciated, and supported as they do their best for the child. Listening and observing without judgment helps families and providers see their shared hopes, which, when named and discussed, strengthen family engagement and create kind, collaborative, and consistent shared agreements. Shared agreements are the promises families and providers make together about how they’ll show up for a child—using clear expectations, open communication, and teamwork to support the child’s well‑being.

Shared agreements need to grow and change because children—and the routines and relationships around them—grow and change, too. For example, an agreement about quick drop‑offs might shift over time to include a short goodbye routine as a child learns to separate more confidently.

When creating shared agreements, the conversation should always start with the question: “What will help this child be successful?” Together, always using “us” and “we,” you might discuss:

• goals and expectations for the child’s learning and growth
• procedures for drop-off and pick-up
• supplies needed and who will bring what
• carry-over routines at home and in the program (for example, a good-morning song in both settings, or reading a book together before bedtime)
• frequency and format of program or home visits (monthly, weekly, or bi-weekly)
• appropriate use of social media and texting (how and when to communicate, and what is off limits to protect privacy and boundaries, such as pictures of the child on social media)
• how to address conflicts when they arise
• how to encourage and “lift each other up,” such as agreeing to share compliments and acknowledge each other’s efforts regularly

Strategy 2: Two-Way Communication

Two-way communication is exactly what it sounds like: communication flows in both directions, with both families and providers sharing information, questions, and ideas. This work builds engagement and trust when both sides enter the conversation with the intent to learn from each other and to respect each other’s expertise.

Busy schedules can make communication uneven, but simple, reliable tools like a communication notebook and board help reduce stress and support better collaboration.

• A communication notebook is individualized for each child and travels between the home and the program. It can be made personal (for example, decorated with the child’s favorite character or photos) and used only by that child’s family and provider, and be an interactive space to share
  • highlights of the child’s day or accomplishments
  • compliments and words of encouragement
  • requests for help or suggestions for carrying over skills and routines
  • questions about routines, behavior, or learning
• A communication board can be a central place (for example, near the door) for quick, daily notes that all families can see, such as reminders, important announcements, or compliments.

Remember, when everyone in the village knows what to expect from one another and communicates well, there is more room for trust, less room for conflict, and greater capacity to focus on what matters most: the child.

Zoraima Rolón, with more than 33 years of experience spanning elementary and higher education, is a dedicated educator, an early childhood facilitator and coach, a proud mother of three adult children, and the director of the informal family childcare division, where she advocates for and supports home-based childcare providers.