Explaining Sickness

When a parent, caregiver, or other loved one becomes ill, the whole family may struggle. But there are ways to comfort and reassure children, to offer clear, honest explanations, and to stay connected to the loved one who is sick.

Depending on children’s ages and whether or not you share a home with the ill person, and depending on how serious the person’s illness is, here are some things you might say:

• We may have to do some things differently for awhile. For right now, things are different, but the love in our family will not change.
• It’s okay to feel confused, frustrated, worried, or scared. I have those feelings, too. But you are safe, and we’re all in this together.
• Every day, let’s write or draw things we want to do with (family member) once they get better on small pieces of paper. We’ll fold them up and drop them in this hope jar (or bowl). When they get better, we’ll read them together and do some of those things.
• Even if we can’t be with them, we can find new ways to be together for now, like video chatting.

If a Loved One Is in the Hospital

It can be tough on everyone to manage the uncertainty and worry of having a family member in the hospital, especially if they are so sick they can’t have visitors. How much information you share and how you explain it will naturally depend on your child’s age and the condition of your family member, but here are some things to consider:

• Explain that you can’t visit because the doctors and nurses need to concentrate on doing their jobs taking care of your loved ones and other people who are very sick.
• It’s okay to let children know that you are also worried (“I understand. I’m concerned about Grandpa too, but we’ll get through this together”).
• Tell children that the doctors and nurses are taking good care of (family member).
• Assure children that you’re going to get information about how (family member) is doing every day.