When You’re Concerned About Your Child’s Mental Health 

by Christine Crawford, MD  

When parents tell me they’re concerned about their child’s emotional well-being, I always stress how good it is that they’re bringing it up so early in their child’s life! 

When we talk about physical health or learning disabilities, we say things like “It’s good we caught it early”—why should mental health be any different? We can be thankful for the fact that this is coming up now, that you or someone else has identified a concern. Because now we have so much time to fully equip your child with the tools and resources they’ll need to succeed.  

What an amazing opportunity and gift that you have right now in this moment to be able to support and guide your child! No matter how serious your concerns, this is a beautiful opportunity to shine as a parent. How you respond to this situation and support your child along this journey to supporting their emotional well-being over the course of a lifetime.  

Of course, especially when it seems as though a child is experiencing some really significant mental health symptoms, parents are scared. Parents have their own dreams and ideas and visions of where it is they hope their children will end up. And when parents learn that their child has a mental health challenge, all of those hopes and dreams may seem as though they’re dashed.  

What I say to parents is that I know right now it’s hard for you to have hope, but I have hope that things will get better, and it’s literally my job to carry the hope for you in this moment. You can’t see it, but I’m holding it for you! So when we get to the other side, you’ll be able to see it. I’m going to continue to be hopeful even during our darkest of days, and we’ll get there. It’s hard right now and that’s okay. It’s only in this moment in time.  

I also remind them that we’re doing this together: “Wow, this is amazing that we’re able to come together right now and do this together for your child. And so you’re not alone on this journey at all. I’m here and I’m going to throw the weight on my back—that’s literally my job so you can focus on connecting with your child.” I also remind parents that they are parents, not mental health providers. Leave all of the detective work to me figure out what’s wrong! And I remind them that as parents, it’s not a matter of understanding what’s wrong with your child… it’s a matter of just understanding your child! 

Dr. Crawford is Associate Medical Director at National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). She is an adult and child psychiatrist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine. 

Special thanks to our content partners at National Alliance on Mental Illness.